The past 2 weeks has been my exam week and I have been really trying to balance different priorities that I have apart from my studies. It has been my goal for some time to not put studies as my main priority as I believed I wanted to live a more wholesome and meaningful life. Therefore, I have been involving myself with many things, planning a lot and really trying to balance all my commitments. For a huge part of the semester, I must really say I really enjoyed the new shift in mindset and I found myself a lot happier being so involved in many different areas of ministry besides being a student.
Recently, I met up with 2 girls and I prepared to meet them up and share with them what I have learnt from a book, "Teaching to Change Lives" by Dr. Howard Hendricks. And out of the many good lessons that I have learnt was a lesson on balance. Dr. Howard shared that as teachers of the word (and in general), we have to be growing in different dimensions - intellectually, socially and physically. I think I have been fairing relatively well both intellectually and socially. However, I have neglected the physical aspect of my life. As I read the book, there were a few questions that threw me off and they were questions pertaining to a balance in my life.
How much of my time do I spend with people?
How much of my time do I spend at work?
How much of my time do I spend alone?
How much of my time do I spend at play?
Just today before exams, I wanted to go about printing my notes as my exams was going to be an open book test (what good news right?) but as I was still rushing the last bits of my own notes in the morning, I couldn't leave house till slightly later. I underestimated the time that I would need to travel to school. And as I reached school, I panicked and still tried to get it printed but I knew it was all too late. Therefore, I went into the exam hall without my notes. I felt sincerely bad for myself, I totally disadvantaged myself from the rest of the students. I did the exams fairly well (thank God I studied as I made the notes) but not as well as I hoped to. My friends and some of my course mates started discussing about how easy the paper was and how they copied everything from the slides wholesale. At that point, I went into the self-pity path and started feeling horrible and angry at myself.
Then, I realized that the mad rush earlier was God's purposeful reminder of His lesson to me - balance. Bringing myself back to answer the questions, I immediately found a few things that were off balance. In the area of work, I gave too much of myself in some areas and neglected others. I reflected on my situation and I realized I allowed the many things that happen in the week to consume me so much so that I did not have time to settle my own exam notes earlier. As a result, I cannot give my personal best during the exams. Sadly, this sort of rush is not a one time off event and has happened many times and I know therefore to work on this area of balancing my commitment and priorities. And the reason why I felt so sad and constantly stressed was because I never allowed myself to play and truly relax this entire semester. I always felt guilty when I was playing or resting though I always preach it to the people I meet that it is okay to play. However, I myself didn't understand that. So, it's time for more quality play :)
I am currently prayerfully working through these areas and hopefully find a balance that will work out. Well, I am thankful for this little reminder now for I know with internship, final year and Final Year Project coming up, I know that I would need balance more than ever. This is definitely a costly but very valuable lesson - as much as work is important, emotional and physical health is important too. I still remembered asking the young working adults how it is like to balance and adapt to their jobs and I will always remember this one advice - if you do not learn how to balance and prioritise as a student, you will find it difficult to learn how to do it when you are a working adult.
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A week later, I saw what God did. He did not only reveal to me my problem of balance but that of my sin so that I can come back to the cross once again. This is so that I can recognize that He is and has always been at hand. I realized, I need reminders even in the little things. (http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-god-interrupts-your-plans)
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones"
-Proverbs 17:22
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