Not So Alone afterall

I have been feeling very alone in my walk with God very recently. Things have not been going on too great. And when discouragement comes along, you wish someone was there to offer you a listening ear, someone would be there to encourage you in your walk with God or just someone who would be praying for you. I, too, wish for all these.

I had gone through a various amount of setbacks recently - school work, ministry work (serving in church) and internship application.

I did not know who to look to and often feel very alone. I did not want to "burden" anyone with my problems but the feelings in my heart just grew stronger and more negative. In the area of school work, I had a Final Year Project proposal to think of and my ideas are either not good enough or not well thought through. And the deadline was approaching. In ministry work, I had experienced quite a few discouraging moments and my internship application still looks quite bleak.

I wondered to God why He didn't give me a strong support group to look to regarding my problems. I feel so helpless and I did not know who to turn to. My 2 good friends including my best friend is away and its difficult to share my immediate concerns with them. Therefore, I was really alone.

God knew that I was battling with loneliness and He is so gracious to me and have given me many people to speak to me over the week, praying for me, encouraging me, empathizing with me and I knew to be extremely thankful for the wonderful angels God has placed in my life. But I felt that something within me has still yet been resolved. I was still feeling discouraged and lonely and upset.

Could anyone empathize with me especially in the area of ministry? I really tried putting my best effort, trying my best to love and trying to do whats best for the people whom I get to work with. But I don't know why everything seems to be going so wrong? What else should I do? I needed advice.

You know how amazingly God works? I prayed for wise counsel and that was exactly what He gave. I met an older sister-in-christ from my church whom I have not had the chance to talk and meet up with. We went out for lunch together. During lunch, she listened to me and empathized with me.

Then, she asked me a question: "What do you think ministry is?" Well, good question. I wondered, do I know? I said that it is about serving God and serving People in love. And she shared with me a quote from a book that she read: "Ministry takes place when divine resources meet human needs through loving channels to the glory of God." I had to ask her to repeat. It was a really profound statement to make.

She went on to ask: "You see when we are involved with serving God, who do you think provides the resources?" I answered, "God". She asked another question: "What is the end result of our service to God?" I couldn't think of anything and said: "(our) Faithfulness?"

She went on explaining that when we serve God, it is not our abilities, our strengths and our effort that we use. We serve with "divine resources" that is provided. God would give us what we need when we serve God even gifts and talents we do not have at the current moment if that is what we need to meet a need. And we serve so that God will be pleased, "to the glory of God".

She continued to encourage me through an example from the Bible and a testimony of an instance in her life when she was discouraged doing the work of God. And from the Bible, she spoke of the prophet, Elijah. Elijah has been faithfully delivering the messages of God to the people of Israel. Though he has been warning the Israelite, none of them repented or had any change in them. This left Elijah discouraged too. God appeared to Elijah and promised him to show him people who followed after God and people who were like-minded (1 Kings 19:9-18).

I was so encouraged knowing that even Elijah was discouraged at a point in time serving God. And God brought him 7000 people who believed and worshiped God. How amazing! And the sister-in-christ in my church prayed for me and asked me to pray for God to reveal these like-minded people in my life. I realized that I was not so alone anymore. God has always been there and there were people who were like-minded in my church too and perhaps I didnt know or could not identify who they were yet. Well, I know God knows and thats all that matters.

I have clarified some of the fundamental concerns I have had and am so thankful that God brought someone into my life to address them. And I am thankful to God for showing me that I am never alone in this walk with Him. Current circumstances may seem bleak but His plans are often perfect and far beyond what I can imagine.

"Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him."

-1 Kings 19:18